Conflict Resolution
 Let’s Resolve Conflicts Together

"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding"
Albert Einstein

In this unit you will learn how to prevent, manage, and peacefully resolve conflicts. You will identify a conflict, understand what is causing the conflict, and use nonviolent problem-solving skills to de-escalate the conflict so that a mutually acceptable agreement can be achieved.

.What is a conflict? 

Work as a group and explain in writing what a conflict is.
 Look for the noun conflict in the following links.
Give examples of three conflicts that happened to you.

Find out what a conflict is - click here       and here.

What is the best way to feel at the end
of a conflict?

Look at the following table: which is the best way to feel at
the end of a conflict? 

 

 

A.      

Both people get what they want.

B.      
 

Person 1 gets what he or she wants but person 2 doesn't.

C. 

Person 1 doesn't get what he or she wants but person 2 does.

D.     

Neither person gets what he or she wants.

   

Let's think about it...

Look at this picture and answer the following questions:

Is there a conflict?
  

What is the conflict?

How did the donkeys resolve the conflict? 

What did you learn as a result of this conflict?

Send your answers to the
 

THE ORANGE

Two little sisters were arguing over an orange, "Give it to me,
I want this orange, it's mine" shouted the first girl.
"And I want this orange too, I need it right now," cried the
other girl.

The mother came in and listened to the requirement of each
 of the girls.

Both wanted the same thing. The mother took a knife and cut
 the orange in two halves. She gave each little girl one half.

The first girl peeled her half, threw away the skin, and ate
the inside. The second girl also peeled her half of the orange,
 but threw away the inside, and put the skin aside to dry.
She wanted to make some jam out of the orange.

What was the requirement of the first girl, and what was
the requirement of the second girl?

What was the interest of the first girl, and what was the interest
of the second girl?

If the mother had listened to their interest instead to their
 requirements, could you imagine another resolution of this conflict?
 Write down HOW!

 

What are your rights?

Let's remember what our rights and responsibilities are so that
we respect each other more.

Write here what you think students' rights are:

Write here what you think students' responsibilities are:

Check your answers:
Student Bill Of Rights  More on Rights
Student Bill of Responsibilities

 

Mini Projects

1. What should you do in a conflict?    

What should you do if you have a conflict with a friend?    

Work in a small group and brainstorm ideas how to
solve a conflict.
As a group write down your ideas here: 

Click on the following links to learn more about what
to do in a conflict.
 Write guidelines for people in conflict -tell them what
 to do, and what not to do.

1. Rules for fighting fair 1 and fighting fair 2.

2. Time out to cool down

3.  Rules For Getting Your Mads Out

4. Things To Do Later If The Mads Are Still There

5. Things To Do If Someone Bigger Starts To Hurt You

 

2. Conduct a Survey

In this activity you will work alone and conduct
 a survey about people and conflicts and make
a fact sheet.

1. Survey ten people that are not in your class.
The people can be friends from school, parents,
neighbors, etc.

2. Analyze the answers you got. Write a fact
sheet with your conclusions based on these answers.
Did you find anything that is surprising?
Are there any similar answers?
Did people answer completely differently?

3. Compare your survey and fact sheet with your group.
 Were their answers similar or different?
Write down your findings as a group and add to your
 fact sheet.

To conduct the survey click here or here (Word file).

Documenting Conflicts

In this activity you will work alone and document
three conflicts. Based on what you have learned so far,
 you will explain if the conflict was resolved satisfactorily
or badly.

After documenting your conflicts, share your work with
your group. Each group member has to comment on
one of your documented conflicts and suggest a better
way the conflict could have been resolved.

Click here to document conflicts.
When I get angry...

Click here to find out
WHAT I AM DOING AND WHY I AM DOING IT

What did you find out about yourself?

What makes you angry?

Look at your trigger words
 (triggers are words that make you angry).

Click here to find out what makes you angry.

Click here to download the page in Word.

Learn how you can help control your own temper:

Click on the Peace-ing It Together Poster I Was Called a Name
Preparing for Problem Solving Taking a Look at My Conflict Behavior

 

1. Stop. Cool off.

2. Talk and listen to each other.
3. Find out what you both need.
4. Brainstorm solutions.
5. Choose the idea you both like.
6. Make a plan. Go for it.

How can you help others or yourself?

What should you do if two of your friends are fighting?
Click here to document conflicts.

Have you ever helped to resolve a conflict between two friends?
Tell us about it.
   
Write to the
 

 

Conflict Role-Plays 

Choose a role play and act it out with a friend.

Your friend takes the pencil you just dropped on the floor. He or she starts using it and you have no pencil now.
The student behind you on line bumps into you and doesn’t say, “Excuse me.”
Your mother yells at you because you haven’t cleaned your room in a week.
Someone you know is sarcastic to you in front of the class. You feel embarrassed.
The person you’re working with rips your paper by mistake.
Your friend says he or she will return your book in the morning, and he or she forgets it. You’re mad because you really need this book.
Someone you know doesn’t invite you to a party that he or she is having, but invites all the other kids.
A kid makes fun of you in the lunchroom. You want to say something to him or her about it without getting angry or defensive.

Danny doesn't want to play football with Yossi. Yossi comes on the playground and takes the ball from the players.

Danny and the other players run after Yossi. Yossi throws the ball to the other yard. Danny starts calling Yossi names. Danny and Yossi start to fight.

Brother and sister are watching TV. He would like to watch the sports match on one channel, while she wants to see the documentary film on another. Children in pairs (in 2 concentric circles one opposite the other) play the role of the brother (outside circle), or the role of the sister (inner circle). They can decide about the resolving or non re-solving this conflict situation. Then they switch the roles.

S.O.S. Steps to Resolve a Conflict

S tory   Each person tells his/her side of the story including using an
"I" message to say how each feels.

 

  
O ptions

 

Both people suggest possible solution options.

 
 

 
S olutions

Both agree on a solution.
Make sure the option agreed to is safe, fair and will work for both people.

 

  Click here to learn more about S.O.S. Steps


         Some Lessons
- Those who resolve conflicts attack the problem, not the person.
- Accusing the person accelerates or widens the conflict and provokes self defence.
-Attacking the problem leads to resolving the conflict.
-Conflict resolution is a process.

    

      

The Basic Elements of the Mediation Process

The elements of the basic mediation process are:

First Step: Both sides agree to solve the conflict.

Both sides take a cooling off period.

Second Step:  Ground Rules

1. Treat each other with respect; no blaming or put-downs.

2. Attack the problem, not the person.

3. Wait for your turn to speak; no interrupting.

4. Work together toward a fair solution.

5. Tell the truth.

Third Step: Mediating with the Win/Win Guidelines

1. Cool Off.

2. Each person states their feelings and the problem using “I Messages.”

3. Each person states the problem as the other person sees it.

4. Each person says how they are responsible for the problem.

5. Brainstorm solutions together and agree on a solution that satisfies both people.

6. Affirm, forgive or thank each other.

 
Talk it out together: How to solve conflicts

Step 1: Get together

Step 2: Take turns talking and listening

Step3: What will help?

Step 4: Choose a plan

Step 5: Do it!

A.  Define the problem.

B.  Brainstorm solutions.

C.  Choose a solution and act on it.

 

 To learn more Click on the following links:

          6 Steps for Rebuilding Peace

  1. Time Out to Calm Down

  2. Send an "I" Message

  3. Listen Actively

  4. Both Sides Accept Responsibility

  5. Brainstorm Possibilities

  6. Agree to Live by the Results

 

 

    Links
hrea.org
Teachervision-dealing with war
Dealing with your own anger
A conflict resolution article for elementary classroom
teachervision.com
educationworld.com
6 steps for rebuilding peace
Conflict Resolution and Peer Mediation Elementary Guide (PDF)
Let's Resolve Conflicts Together - many suggested activities (PDF)
Ohio Commission On Dispute Resolution & Conflict Management
Teaching Tolerance
Trackstar  Trackstar2
Bullies
Bully-Busters
Safeyouth
http://www.csmp.org/handouts/tips.htm
Building Peaceable Schools
Conflict Resolution for Elementary Schools
Preventing Violence
One World Our World
http://www.gigglepotz.com/peace.htm
Conflict Management - State Ohio
An Example of how to guide children in conflict Resolution
Project about Conflict
Lesson plans
Fighting Fair


 

Last updated 26/08/08

If you have any comments or suggestions email Sigalit Arditi